ughh

i am so mad and frustrated with myself right now.

i was supposed to start writing for my assignments since forever but i failed to do so because i don't have the idea and willingness. i did try to write it, many many times but somehow each time. it reaches a dead end. how am i going to explain this my lecturer haa?? "Dr. saya tak buat assignment sebab saya tak ada idea and mood" is this a valid explanation/excuse?? of course not. no lecturer will accept it i think. dah lah last semester i submitted a very shitty paper to the effing same lecturer. takkan lah semester ni nak teruskan dengan perangai karut sem lepas?! nonetheless but he still managed to give me a good grade in my finals though my carry marks stinks. sumpah rasa macam i-don't-deserve-this-good-grade.

it's not like i didn't put any effort into it... i already started reading some of the articles that i searched online but when it comes to writing the paper, i have no single clue on where to begin with. yes, i do know the format and the basic stuffs but i don't know how to physically do it. i only managed to write one or two sentences. after that, nope. tak ada idea how to continue writing it. wehh i have a 5000 words report due three weeks from now. and this is only for one particular subjects. belum yang lain-lain.

ohemmgeeee this is sooo stressful.