Tuesday, 4 July 2017

The silver lining

"every cloud has a silver lining"

i don't even know where to start...


there were times when i felt like i made the wrong choice. 

but alhamdulillah, eventually it turns out to be the best decision that i've ever made. speaking about that, it's not always rainbows and butterflies pun, ada time macam 'off', rasa macam akward and tak kena je tapi, ada time rasa menyesal sebab buat decision tu. but at the end of the day, i can finally see the silver lining behind all of this. 

and rasa macam wow, you've definitely made the right decision back then. have you guys ever felt like your world is crumbling down, tearing apart apa semua? i was in that state for the past two weeks. it's like, you've done your best, but still feeling not good enough. rasa teruk gila... but at the end of the day, there's a silver lining or 'hikmah' behind all of this. i was a shallow minded person back then. when i do certain things or get involved in certain activities i often don't really contemplate about it. 

but as the time goes by, i started to see things in different perspectives. perhaps it's part of  adult-ing process kut..? ecececeh. and that's how things actually work. i should start embracing all the challenges and problems in a more open manner, avoid overthinking or over assessing those challenges. 

at the end of the day, i should put more trust in god's plan and timing because there's always silver lining behind everything. 

Sunday, 14 May 2017

i'm such a hopeless romantic and pathetic person.

omg, i have already warned you zafirah..! and you already know the consequences. but you still continue doing what you do best which is lurking. haaa padan muka sebab now dah terjumpa perkara yang tak sepatutnya kau tahu. lepas tu you get your feelings hurt. hehehe. lol this is not the first time kan. kau ni kan tak pernah serik involve dengan kerja karut ni. it's just that, how many times do i have to fall for the wrong one until i met the right one..? bosan lah kalau macam ni

there's clearly nothing more between us. lol but why am i being so hopeful. sudahlah jadi hopeless romantic zafirah. you live in harsh cruel reality where there's no place for hopeless romantic like you. just move on with your life. 

*plays all by myself*

Tuesday, 9 May 2017

Another milestone reached

hello people!!

last few months have been crazy. hahaha. 

i got an amazing news to share in this space!!

guys and girls, 

i've survived viva for my final year research project!!

yesterday was The Day! which is kind of a big deal to me. my past experience with these sorts of things hasn't been very pleasant i tell ya. based on what happened yesterday i'm so relieved that i did quite okay. it's not a really huge success but still i felt like i'm at the top of mount kilimanjaro! lol. 

only God knows how much this means to me. 

there's still a lot of corrections and touch ups that needs to be done. but that's part of the learning process i guess. and i'm totally cool with it. 


what else...

i'm eternally grateful for those who always been there supporting me at my highest high and lowest low. i'm soo blessed to have such an amazing support system. god, i love all of you!!! 

tu je kot. 


Saturday, 25 March 2017

wake up!


i've been sleeping a lot lately. A LOT. and the sad thing is, no matter how long i get my sleep i'll still end up feeling like crap. what is wrong with me? have i been affected with any type of adverse disease? 

 what else yeaaaa... okay

a short update on my final year project (fyp), i've been avoiding myself from writing or planning it for the past two/three weeks.yep. it's kinda frustrating and worrying at the same time. this act will be the death of me when week 10 arrives-whereby i'll be having my viva presentation. the thing about fyp is that it's a physical, emotional and spiritual roller coaster ride filled with ups and downs. there's one week where i'll be "yeah, let's do this shizz" and there's the week where i'm like "nahh, just forget about it".

for heaven's sake zafirah, time is running up!! there's about seven weeks left for you to finish what you've started. you have to effing deal with it! you cannot avoid yourself from this. running away from fyp is not going to solve the problem. come hell or high water you have to finish it. just fcking do it. i know it's challenging every core of your existence. but you have get through this. you've been faced with numerous challenges before and you somehow manage to survive. so this time, it will be the same. for once, please, i begging you to not be a cry baby. haha. girl, be strong!

Friday, 3 March 2017

Life confession

new year does fly by 

we're in the third month of 2017 already

and i haven't had the chance to update anything in this space. 

*blows off dust*

last semester have been a wild ride.

my final year project research is still ongoing, 

challenging me to the core of my existence. truly. 

and i gotta admit that i'm struggling in trying to get a good grip on it 

been having my occasional breakdown more frequent

my despicable doubt is eating me alive 

but thank God for each and everyone who always been there when i need them the most 

constantly encouraging, supporting me when i am at my lowest low

and i am eternally grateful for that. 

only God knows how much it means to me

you guys are the reason as to why i keep on going 

indeed this is random post

but i bet it's good to write a thing or two about my recent state of life