back in this vicious cycle
again!
I'm still internally struggling to face this problem. it had happened once, I got out of it only to have it go back to square one. at one point, I regretted my decision but it has been made clear that I have little interest in pursuing my previous research. at first, I taught it will be like a safe place for me to spend about two years doing that. Then, another option came out, I wanted to pursue it so badly only to have it destroyed again by this pandemic. Things are really tough rn. everyone is struggling one way or another. in fact, the whole world! 2020 has to be one of the most disappointing years. periodt. things have been blurry since february, starting from the MCO. sedar2 dah masuk november
I'm trying my best to remain optimistic, but when you're constantly being rejected, it can be discouraging. to make it worse, I've been spending way too much time at home, having very little contact with friends. heck, sometimes I feel like I have no one to talk to cause they might not understand my dilemma. deep down, I knew that I've been distracting myself with other things but I have to deal with this sooner or later. entahlah. my future seems bleak. idk how to plan it anymore because things might go the opposite way. there will surely be more detours and roadblocks along the way.
