You can't have everything in life

you can't have everything in life.

yup, that's the reality.

you can't have it all.

let that sink in.

in  life, we often envy those who seems like they have it all. we often wonder, what does it takes to have something like that? what did he/she did to deserve something like that? we often dwell on our own imperfection and lacking in any aspects. but let's just take a step back and reflect. let just remind ourselves that there is no such thing as perfection and justice in this world. in fact, the nature of this world is nothing like that

we live in a world filled with misleading expectation about many things. most of the times, what we observe can be deceiving. we might have mistakenly overlooked certain things. our limited knowledge and perspectives do have its pitfalls. 

it is easy for us to be envious when we see other people thrive. in our view, those around us are doing so much better than us. there are those who have instantly secure a job, those who have already found their partner, those who know what they are going to do with their life, those who have found their passion and etc. we start to wonder why we can't have what they have?? those around us seems like they have their life sorted out. they seem like they have it all. 

and then, there are those who still struggling. still searching for their passion. still being insecure about many many things. still seeking for my their virtues and values. in my case, i've been having my internal dilemma for quite a while. there's so many things that i cannot comprehend. after having some thoughts and reading, i've come to a conclusion that you can't have everything in life. your life in this world is not meant to be perfect. there are gaps and loopholes that need to be filled. there are plenty of things that need to be improved. 

each and everyone of us have our own struggles. some are publicly shared while some are not. none of us have everything that we want. there are things that we are deprived of. such state allows us to keep on improving ourselves while at the same time being grateful for what we have. we have to put in our best effort and strive. but along the process we may encounter challenges either physically, mentally or spiritually. nonetheless, just don't get discourage by it and let it consume you. 

not-so short life update!

well hello there!!

just wanna fill up with my short life update. 

1. i've finished my first degree! 

the last couple of months have been amazing. it was the final semester of my first degree. i'm only taking four subjects, so i got a lot of time to spent doing nothing and everything. there are times when it was so damn intense and there were times when i don't know what to do with my life. 

but guess what?! i've finally completed my first degree. indeed it has given me this sense of satisfaction. it was one of my biggest self achievement, but it was not everything lah. duhh of course, baru degree je. but this degree is really one of a kind. i still vividly remember the struggles of doing assignments, reports and writing thesis. dealing with different kind of people. it was an eye opening experience but with a very good exposure. and i already miss being a uni student. 

i can safely admit that, this whole degree thing does change, broaden your horizon. change your outlook on life and etc. it does sort of prepare you for the next phase a.k.a adulting phase. i may not be applying everything that i learned from uni but there are certain values that are important. 

i do feel extremely sad that this journey has come to an end. i've been blessed with an amazing group of friends. parting ways with them was never easy. i legit cried for days. in the car, in the bedroom and almost everywhere. i really do miss them. and i'm just not good at goodbye. not good. They have seen me at my best and at my worst. we've been through hell and high water together. do crazy random shit in the middle of the night. i will terribly miss those moments.

2. i'm still single and socially awkward to mingle. 

hahahah. dah habis degree but still takde harapan nak ada someone special. tbh, i think guys in UM are not that attractive. most of them was like entah apa apa. i'm not being desperate or what, but there times when i really wanna know what's it like being in a romantic relationship. i've never been in one. sejak dari bangku sekolah up until know. idk maybe i'm not gf material. 

well for a start i can be quite awks around new people and i'm not very friendly. i can't simply talk about random shit to people i've just met. yup. and maybe i'm selekeh pakai biasa biasa je pergi kelas. the  male friend that i constantly keep in touch were my boarding school friend. but that was more like best friend kind of thing. but in UM, i couldn't find those kind of friendship. too bad kan? 

i've had several crushes. tapi semua tak kesampaian. they either found someone else or i lost interest in them. hahah. one thing fosho, i never dared to confess my feelings towards any of them. cause being rejected kinda sucks so let's just pass. perhaps, when time is right, i'll eventually find The One. but the time is not now.

3. i'm officially unemployed

the prospect is very scary. idk where to start. lets just hope and pray that there are vacancies or a position for me at any firm somewhere in KL. the process of job seeking is insanely competitive and i'm not sure if i will ever secure a job. quit the crap zafirah, you need to stay positive and increase your effort!!

i've attended a career fair last weekend with my friends. some of us were pretty determined to find a job. tbh, i was amazed by their determination. like they were seriously seeking for a job. and then there's me who went there just to survey future employer and get the hang of it. it's not that i enjoyed being unemployed, it's just, i would like to take some time off from all the hectic-ness. spending a couple months at home is not that bad tho.

currently, i'm pretty much occupied with doing domestic work in my home. tell ya what, it's not easy and the list of tasks that you need to do is never ending. but nonetheless, i do enjoy doing it. you gotta multitask tho, from cleaning, cooking and do the laundry. tahu-tahu je hari dah petang.

i should prolly end my not-so short life update. see ya in the next post. byee

Zafirah xx

New Zealand | Part 3 : Day trip to Wanaka

click here if you wanna read about part 2

before i proceed, may i warn you that this post will be heavily loaded with pictures.

on the second day of our stay in South Island NZ, we decided to go for a daytrip to wanaka. fyi, wanaka is about two hours drive from queenstown. but trust me, the journey was totally worth it cause the views maaan. the views is insanely stunning!!

initially, my one and only reason for including wanaka in our itinerary was to find the instagram famous 'that wanaka tree'. sebab tu je. hahah sangat takde kerja. i've been following countless instas of digital travel nomad in new zealand since three/four years ago and you know what, almost all of them featured this perfect scenic picture of 'that wanaka tree' in their feed. so when i finally got the chance to explore this country of course i made a mission to find it. 

the question is... do i managed to find it?

dun dun dun

i'll get back to this later ya?

that morning after having our breakfast, we set for wanaka. about an hour drive from queenstown we stopped at lake county council lookout. how picturesque is this..? ni pun the photo doesn't do justice to the view. luckily i was not driving at that time. cause if i were, silap haribulan kereta boleh melencong sebab asyik tengok tepi je. heheh. oh before i forgot, nak tahu tak, sebab terlalu overexcited dan terkesima with the view, me being a clumsy person jatuh dua/tiga kali sebab mata asyik tengok benda lain je, ahahah

this is the first time when i almost fall backwards. kononnya, nak ambil gambar duduk atas palang ni. sekali haaa almost nak tergolek kebelakang. ahahah

since safety is first. kita berdiri je lah. ahahah

we then continued our journey to wanaka via the crown range road. the drive was incredibly wonderful since we get to see different landscapes along the way. at first i didn't expect to see snow in the mountains cause we came here during late winter time. but hey surprise suprise, ada rezeki nak tengok real snow even kat tepi jalan. 

casually freezing my bum off sebab jakun first time jumpa snow

after driving for about two hours, we finally arrived at our destination, Wanaka. btw, do you guys remember bout my 'that wanaka tree' plan? you know what? i totally forgot about that after seeing this...

MasyaAllah, look at the magnificent vista..

upon arriving we headed towards lake wanaka front. we didn't plan any adventurous activities ke apa. just free and easy 'lepak' session in front the lake while enjoying fresh local fruits. i could happily sit here and stare at this magnificent view for hours while contemplating about life. i lived for this kind of pleasure. hehe

i am so so thankful that i manage to explore and see Wanaka in person. the post that i usually see in my instagram feed did not do justice for this place. MasyaAllah, Wanaka is so amazing and the view is insanely gorgeous. By the way, the tourist crowd is not too huge so you can simply enjoy the view all to yourself. I enjoyed every single moment here in Wanaka. it kinds of make you feel calm and at ease and forget about all the crap happening in your life. hahah. i did not want to leave this place. seriously. it kinda feels like homeee. although technically my actual home is in Chenor.

there was this sinking feeling i had when leaving Wanaka,  because i'll never know when will i return again. half of my heart was left in this place. *cries a river* even after a year, i can still remember the feeling and vibe of this place every time i close my eyes. let's just hope and pray that i'll be able to visit Wanaka in the future insyaAllah. 

so these are my sincere thoughts and review after exploring Wanaka.  See you all i the next post

Zafirah xx

A fresh start

Hi Assalamulaikum...

i haven't updated this blog since last July if i'm not mistaken. 

Yikes...

That was a very long time. tbh, i'm not sure what to write in this blog. content creation is not easy peasy lemon squeezy. for the last few months, i've been focusing on my studies and little attention is given towards this blog. 

it was kind of a bummer because i really do miss writing updates and etc. the blog allows me to keep in track with my life and express my feelings and thoughts freely. i am a very very sentimental person and i like to revisit my past experiences and stories - walk down the memory lane kind of thing. so yeah that was the main reason as to why i started the blog in the very first place. i used to write on a physical diary back then, and now thanks to technology, I've have a virtual diary. 

for the next few entries, i will try my best to beat the writer's block and put up some new updates. perhaps on my latest plans after finishing my studies, share my current favourite books and other things. 

so here's for a fresh new start

see you in next post :)

Zaf xx