Tuesday, 8 August 2017

Random rambling

i've been meaning to share about this for quite sometime...

how can one avoid themselves from liking someone?? is that even possible? how can one ignore or neutralize this damn feeling? 

lately, i've been falling for this one person. hard. it happened for quite sometime now. at first, i thought that this would definitely be a temporary feeling. that it will all be over when we ended our official matters. but it did not. since then, things have been going... hmmm how do i describe it..? things have been going okay. i did try to distance myself si this sort of thing/feeling. but it failed miserably. 

we did keep tab on each other occasionally though both of us are busy with our own duties. i really want to avoid myself from getting into what ever this is. this feeling have been haunting me night and day. Dear Lord, please make it stop. i don't know what else i should do in order to distract or distance myself from him.  

i've been asking myself many many time lately, what am i getting myself into? why is he being so damn nice and friendly? gosh this is so eff up for a hopeless romantic person like me. it is confusing cause i'm not used to this kind of interaction. how would you feel if there's this one person who seems to go out of his way to help you? all the little and not so little things that he did means a lot to me. i trully appreciate it wehh.

my past so called 'experience' with guys have not been promising. semuanya karut-karut. i was young and foolish at that time. now, i don't want to waste my time on benda entah apa-apa. hahaha

i hope that i would be able to contain my feelings or reaction. cause if he did find out, omg, i nak lari dari Malaya!! i seem to act all weird and awkward when he's around and that is not okay. wehh, i totally forgot how to act normal.

when i met him yesterday at an event, jadi tak tahu nak borak apa. -_____-  padahal we used to be chatty before. sekarang krik-krik. i better get myself out of this freaking mess before this started to become whatever it is.