Closing 'that' chapter.

should i...

or

shouldn't i...

write about this...

omg... this is tough i tell ya 

but since this chapter have been a part of me for quite a while, i will be writing this post.

let's just make it as vague as possible shall we cause it's kinda personal but nonetheless i still wanna write about this chapter on the blog. 

ahah

soo my long time crush finally got married this week. i couldn't be any more happier for him and his partner. truly. both of them look so fine on their wedding day. 

but tbh, i was kinda shocked though i've been telling myself for years that this day is bound to happen, so you better be prepared girl! 

yup. i cannot deny the fact that i was shocked but hey i've been over this crush for quite a while now. bertahun lah dah honestly. but yeah seeing him with his wife is kinda weird (in a good way) cause i used to know a different version of him. 

all is good now i guess. 

finally, i can close and move on from this chapter.

the end. 

he's just not that into you

girl, you knew what you're getting yourself into.

i have warned you many many times before. it's not going to be easy. it was never easy. you've been in this situation a few while back. you do know the damage it brings you, why did you let yourself  be fooled with such gesture. when things didn't go according to what you hoped for, you were devastated. again. i can go on and tell myself that i'm okay, i'm not affected with it. but yeah, it's bullshit. a  part of me just died inside upon realizing the cold hard truth. 

moving on is hard, but come hell and high water i'm gonna get through this shit like i did before. i'm gonna get through this. i will try my best to distract myself from thinking about it. maaaan, it does take a hell of an effort. pray hard that you'll survive this zafirah because if not aku pun tak tahu nak buat macam mana. need i remind you that you barely even knew him girl! it was just a few days spent under a certain condition. that's it. nothing more or less. so get a grip on yourself, do not get deluded with any fantasies or what so ever because this is not a cinderella story. you cannot meet prince charming in a forest. ahahahahahhahhaha. 

another thing is, i do feel guilty for my sudden change of attitude towards some people. i never meant for it to happened but hey they've crossed the line. i have had enough. i'm not as plain and innocent as they think i am. so yeah. sorry not sorry  for shutting some of you out my life. 

Red

After all this madness i'm moving to the Shire. gonna live peacefully as a common hobbit. Growing plants and all that stuffs. 

Farewell earthlings